Reflectivesurfaces's Blog

     I am part of the Sandwich generation. You know, that demographic with responsibilities to their children and their elderly parents. I’d imagine that it is not a new concept. In my mother’s day, your parents and in-laws were expected to live with you and receive your loving care when their golden years turned brass.  Sometimes your kids were already out of the house and making their own ways in the world and sometimes they were still there.  What is most remarkable, that was the time before the invention of the motorized washing machine and what I consider to be a very important invention:  the disposal Depends.  The workload would have been incredible.  There was no home care who would come to the home to give you a break.  Only the odd kindhearted neighbour or church member who would offer respite.  It must have been  incredibly stressful.  But still, the women of those generations would soldier on.  Granted, there was less emphasis on the extension of the senior’s life.  Medical technology just wasn’t there yet.  That may a curse or a blessing, depend on your perspective.

I have a mother who has been battling Alzheimer’s since 2000.  Apparently, only 7 percent of the population who have this disease will surpass the 14 year mark.  My mom I think, will be one of that number.  It is the sheer number of her brain cells that have been her best defense.  Anyone who has ever met my mother or have had to do battle with her on a contentious issue, truly appreciates how bright she was.  I use the past tense because she is only a shadow of her former self.  But with her sense of humour intact and her general good spirit, she has been a model patient for her family.  I have had to move her this spring into a nursing home, because my father’s depression/anxiety disorder was spiraling out of control and despite the daily help from his children and nursing agencies, we thought it would help him.  Not so much.  And now, she is a resident of a nursing home.  I have found the lack of my own personal control in this situation to be…stressful.  The nurses now are in the front line of her care.  And I don’t always agree with their strategies.  But time is short in such an institution and the healthcare professionals are often overworked.  So…they have their methods and  I have had mine and never shall the two meet.  But I still am making the half hour round trip almost daily, or at the very least, every other day.  My jelly remains…squished.