Reflectivesurfaces's Blog

Sometimes, a person looks around and think:  “what the hell am I doing here?”  or  “This isn’t at all like I planned!”  I say the same thing, but with a different tone, because if things turned out like I planned, it would be probably a disaster of cataclysmic portions.  That’s just the way I roll.

I am not a good planner and am usually motivated by the spontaneous.  That can be a huge problem, assuming I ever take the time to evaluate something.  Luckily, that rarely happens.  I prefer my “head in my head” approach to life.  I don’t see the forest, or the trees.  I’m looking at the pretty butterfly passing by, or the shiny little button forgotten in the dirt.  Not saying that is how everyone should be.  Could you imagine a doctor with the attention span of a crow?  Wouldn’t bode well for the recovery of his patients, now would it?  But in my little corner of the universe, no one really seems to care.  As long as I don’t accidentally trip them up.  And I think that is pretty fair.

So today, I was trying to pay attention to the world around me and I found that I much prefer not paying attention to it at all.  It is a nuthouse out there, in case you haven’t noticed!  (I almost didn’t notice, but I think I explained that a bit in the previous paragraph.  What’s wrong?  You not paying attention?  Oh….that’s ok, then.)  But there is something seriously off-balance out there.  I think it may be having an effect on others, too.  Do you know that in the past, say three years, I know of more breakups in what I thought were previously pretty sound relationship, than those who are choosing to stay together.  Weird.  It was like everyone had a meeting and decided that they would all take the exits at the same time.  And no one called me!  I guess that makes sense because I am pretty content in my own little corner.  It may not be exciting, but it isn’t predictable and that would be boring.  And with my health concerns, too much excitement wouldn’t necessarily be a good thing, if you know what I mean.  No sense belabouring your heart muscle and all over something as fleeting as passion.  That’s my opinion.

But I was thinking….despite all the crap and upheaval “out there” (I say that like it is on some other planet or something….), ain’t it all grand!  There is so much wonderful out there waiting to be discovered, tapped, canned and processed.  Some of the wonderful is really pretty tiny.  And some would say insignificant, and some of it is pretty monstrous.  But all of it would qualify under the heading of “grand”.  (For those who are not versed in the terminology….”grand” is not in the sense of monetary denominations or in numeric terms of 1000.  It is in the sense of greatness, awesomeness, and heart swelling thrilling potential.  And no, I don’t think that was Wikipedia approved!)

I forget how grand my little corner of the universe is.  It isn’t ordered, or fancy or earth-shattering (wouldn’t that be awful!).  It is just….grand.  I just have to take the time to remember that. 

I really should write it down somewhere…..

Aw…maybe next time.